1 John 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

In the month of February, love is celebrated all over the world. The word ‘love’ has been misinterpreted for the longest time and as a result, many have lost the essence of love. What really is love? Is it what the movies and music videos portray? If love is a powerful force, why are relationships – family, friendships, or marriages – failing in our days. It looks as if you can’t really trust people who you may call friends and family. The Bible also clearly states that God is love in 1 John 4:8, so why aren’t the foundations of our relationships solid? Whatever is built on God must stand and if God is love, then this love must sustain our relationships. Ever heard the statement ‘love is not enough’? People make that statement because they are referring to a wrong definition of love. Love in the real sense and meaning of it is more than enough but because we have redefined love, it now seems like love is not enough. There are many lies we have believed about love that has given us a wrong perception of love and this is one such lie. God’s love is more than enough. The love that is not enough to sustain a relationship is the one that is feelings-based.

There are three major classes of love. One for the body, the other for the soul and the final one for the spirit of a person.

The one for the body mostly thrives on feelings, emotions, and chemical reactions in the body and that’s why they call it chemistry. Butterflies in my belly. You don’t build any relationship that you want to last on this one because feelings are fickle. You feel happy today and sad another day. It’s an important ingredient but you can’t make it the foundation. It’s what the Greeks call eros because it’s the erotic love that gives rise to sexual passion. Many marriages that have failed had this love in the initial stages and they still failed. That should give you the idea that it’s not enough to base your relationships just on how a person looks on the outside.

The second one is for the soul and is known as Philia in the Greek language. This kind of love is friendship love and even though it’s important to develop friendships because there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24), many friendships are based on things like interests, likes, class, etc, and so it makes such relationships also susceptible to fail. So sometimes we are friends with certain people because of the help they can give us and that doesn’t give room for being genuine most of the time. This means the day that person can no longer be of help, the friendship breaks. This kind of love is for the soul because in 1 Samuel 18:1, the Bible says, And it came to pass when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. The soul comprises the mind, will, and emotions and so in this love, emotions are also involved and that makes it not a solid foundation to build on. It also depends on your will because you choose who your friends are and your choice of friends is an indication of how you think. And what if the way I think is not right? Then it means my choice will be flawed. Have friends but the reason for the friendship must go beyond who the person is and what they can offer you.

However, the last kind of love is the Agape which is unconditional, thus it doesn’t depend on whether the receiver of that love is worthy or not. This is the kind of love that is more than enough so anytime you hear the statement: Love is not enough to sustain a relationship, tell them: Not the God kind of love. This one is for our spirit man because, in Galatians 5:22, the fruit of the spirit is love. This is a fruit of the recreated human spirit not the fruit of the Holy Spirit because the Holy Spirit doesn’t bear fruit. We bear fruit because Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. He said the branches that don’t bear fruit will be cut off so we are to bear fruit, not Him. John 15:8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. No wonder we are told to love our enemies because our natural self and flesh can’t do that. Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

The final truth is that Love is not blind.

Lust is what blinds you that you can see all the red flags and ignore with the excuse that they would change for you.

Another misconception is that love makes you do stupid things. Wrong!!!!! Love goes with knowledge. That I love doesn’t mean I should be stupid or foolish by seeing something that could destroy me and yet run to that thing. Yes, love is unconditional and so I love you even though you hurt me but I must not put myself in the position to continually be hurt by you. It would have a negative effect on my sense of worth and esteem.

What then is the conclusion of this excerpt? All three classes of love have their place but what must be the foundation of any relationship, whether friendship, marriage, or family is the God kind of love.

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