Ephesians 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma
I have been trying to look in the Bible for anything that speaks to falling in love. For some reason, I haven’t found anything. From my observation, it looks like there isn’t anything like that. The only story that comes to mind is that of Amnon and Tamar. In 2 Samuel 13:2, the scripture says, “Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick for his sister Tamar. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.” Other versions say he was frustrated, obsessed, tormented and distressed. So it gives an idea of ‘falling in love’. The ‘falling in love’ was described with negative words like the fore mentioned. Love isn’t something you fall into and this is why: The opening scripture says we should walk in love.
Walking in love and falling in love are two different concepts.
Walking is a controlled movement where you maintain balance, while falling is an uncontrolled loss of balance. Falling gives the idea that you have no control.
That feeling can drive you into anything whether it makes sense or not. Walking in love is a decision and you don’t fall into it.
Everywhere in scripture that love was mentioned, it never gave the impression that this was a feeling. 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud – NOT Love feels patient and feels kind.
1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. Even with this, knowledge was mentioned not a feeling.
Romans 13:8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loves another has fulfilled the law. Here we see love as a responsibility or duty. Nothing about how you feel here. You carry out a duty whether you feel like it or not.
John 13:34 A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. Here it was a command.
So where did we get this idea of love as a feeling from?
Galatians 5:22 -23 says, ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” When you look at the first three especially(love, joy, peace), you’d realize they can come with emotions or feelings. There is a way you feel when you are joyful and when there is peace, you also feel different. Even though emotions can be affected by these, it doesn’t mean these qualities are emotions in themselves. The essence of the fruit of the spirit is that no matter how you feel, exhibit them and so if we limit these to feelings, there’s no point. It’s meant to defy how you feel. In verse 24 it reads, ” And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” So your flesh makes a demand and the fruit of the spirit says no, self control/temperance. Someone offends you, flesh says hate them, fruit of the spirit says love.
There’s an aspect of love that requires knowledge and that’s why there’s nothing like love at first sight. You can be attracted at first sight but you can’t love someone you don’t know. This is proof: Have you seen someone and thought you really liked them and even concluded it was love? Then you discovered something about them and the feelings disappeared? The knowledge you got affected how you thought about them. This means you didn’t fall in love. It was just attraction.
Again, because love is a decision and not something you fall into, you have control over it. You can choose to love someone. Love doesn’t have to be blind. You should not ignore red flags in the name of love. Do not claim that love happens to us and we have no control over who we love. God has shed His love abroad in our hearts but we still have to make the choice to put it to use.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. The emphasis is on Set Your Affections. Affections are feelings, passions and fondness or liking. This means like I can set a clock to a particular time, I can also program my feelings. Walking in love is conditioning myself to focus on loving regardless of how I feel. That is God’s love that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Falling in love happens on the spur of the moment but walking in love is a journey and progressive. No wonder when Amnon slept with Tamar, the scripture said he hated her more than he had loved her.
Don’t fall in love. Walk in love.
The Word In Clarity 